It’s a great time when two people come together to be in a relationship. Everything revolves around both of them at this time and really, it seems like nothing could ever go wrong. Or could it? Consent. “What Women Really Mean When They Preach Consent,” from a woman’s POV.


Men are ruled more by their heads, unlike women who apply more of their emotional intelligence in relationships. Don’t get it wrong. Women are very perceptive and guided by their intuition.

Therefore, how can you know for certain that a woman you’re with, has given total consent to you in her life? The world has evolved, and people have become more aware and expressive of their boundaries in relationships. Moreso, appropriateness in relationships is preached now more than ever. As I said earlier, women are highly emotional and so, more often than not, it’s the manner in which they express their feelings at the time they’re together with their partner that brings these emotions into play.

A man who truly respects people will bring that same idea into his relationship. For many men, it is desirable to hold a lady’s hand, call her up at any time, want to embrace her or be bold enough to make sexual advances.

If a woman accepts you, she will give you access to her life. It may seem unlimited, but really, everyone deserves some space and a say. Consent from any woman must be given expressly. Never take any implied terms as consent. It will never be acceptable to any woman if a man behaves inappropriately towards her.

On the contrary, such an attitude will repel her. If at any time, you are in doubt of what she means as opposed to what she says, please never hesitate to make clarifications with her. When a woman says no, she actually means no.

Do not try and pressure her due to your own desires. This backfires almost all the time. It could be worse, you could be setting yourself up for sexual harassment or related charges. Also, this is a betrayal of trust on your part towards the woman.

Empathy from a man also guides him to judge in an unbiased way, how a woman feels and even the unspoken words. Each woman is unique and special in her own way. There is no general structure on all things consent but basic rules are applicable.

When she says no, she really means no. Never try and coerce her into changing her mind. She may be attracted strongly to you but it does not mean she wants to be physically involved with you.


A woman needs you to build up her confidence and trust in you. This may take a while or may happen instantly. You should be focused on building up these traits with her. You might say “Hey, she decided to spend time with me in my home!”

True, that may happen but it is no license to act untoward to her. In its true context, consent should be mutual from both the man and his partner. When a man shows utmost restraint and respect, he builds up trust in the relationship and the woman would be bold enough to outrightly express to him, her consent.

As a man, never use a woman’s situation of helplessness to entrap her to get her consent. This is a very dicey situation because an act of goodwill may elicit reciprocation in kind. However, it is safer to be out of such moments, to have a better sense of judgement as opposed to assuming that consent has been given.

Oui! Even if you adore her helplessly, you need to give her, her own time and space as she permits you to. You do need her consent to visit her, you need her consent before making major decisions that affect both of you, you actually need her consent even in the most minute details concerning her or both of you.

The consideration of any man to understand how a woman feels and what she wants is a step in the right direction for their relationship. There have been many situations of men who misconstrued a woman’s action or inaction and confused it as consent to get access to them. There is no need to rush anything.

A man once told me that his fiancée felt content snuggling up to him without any other form of affection. He was not comfortable with this initially, as he felt that more intimacy would be needed to strengthen their relationship. They argued and a brief moment of separation happened between them.


He learned to make adjustments for her because, after a lengthy conversation, he realized that she had set boundaries that she expected him to respect. She told him also, that when she felt her heart was right, she would take it to another level with him. They had, after all, made a promise to be together and that promise still stood.

Another strong area in knowing what women preach about consent is understanding the mindset of both partners in a relationship. A developed mindset, that envelopes values, self-control, respect for the next person and also appreciating that each person deserves their right to their own opinion, presents a clearer perspective on consent.

This article was originally published in Modaculture Digital July – September 2020 issue. Go Here to get the digital issue.

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