When the month of love or Valentine’s Day arrives, a shadow cast by its mirror of ardour and love falls over you and you are powerless to escape. The overt shows of affection on your timeline and elsewhere online can be aggravating to deal with, especially if you haven’t been dating recently. Or, as the algorithm and the cosmos keep emphasising how much of a “Single Pringle” you are, you can start to experience extreme FOMO. That’s not our fault; the Valentine’s Day complex has brainwashed us into believing that while being lonely and single on other days is acceptable, on February 14 we should feel especially depressed about it. Valentine wouldn’t upset you if there was a better way to retrain one’s thinking away from the emotional turmoil of not having a Val and towards the peace and awakening of being comfortable alone.
People who are single by choice (hello, yes, we exist!), healing from a breakup, or trapped in a Situationship only God knows where it’s going, deserve love too but not because a day says so.
However, you must first (not to sound cliche), love yourself and there’s no better time to give it a go than on Valentine’s Day. For those who are single, this day can be a reminder of their relationship status and can lead to feelings of loneliness and self-doubt. However, being single does not mean that one cannot practice self-love and care for themselves. In fact, focusing on self-love can be a powerful tool for those who are looking to improve their relationships with others and themselves.
Treating yourself with kindness, compassion, and understanding is the practice of self-love. It’s about realizing your own value and accepting yourself for who you are. When you value yourself, you’re less likely to settle for relationships that aren’t fulfilling and more likely to draw wholesome, devoted partners into your life. Self-acceptance is one of the most crucial components of self-love. By doing this, you must accept yourself as you are, flaws and all. It’s crucial to keep in mind that nobody is perfect and that imperfections are acceptable. The secret is to put your attention on your strengths and work on changing the aspects of your personality that you don’t like.
Another crucial component of self-love is self-care. This entails looking after your overall health—physically, mentally, and emotionally. This can involve engaging in activities you enjoy as well as getting adequate sleep, eating well, exercising, and scheduling time for them. You should convince yourself that you’re worth the effort and that you deserve to feel well by taking care of yourself. Below are some suggestions if you need assistance.
Treat Yourself
Valentine’s Day is a terrific opportunity to treat yourself to something you’ve been eyeing, such as a spa day, a new item of jewellery, or a special meal. Make it a special day of self-care and indulgence by doing something for yourself. Additionally, it is a wonderful chance for you to spend time with your other friends, whether you choose to go out or stay in. Be in the company of individuals who value you and who make you feel good about yourself.
Reflect On Your Self-love Journey
This is an excellent time to consider your progress toward self-love. Spend some time reflecting on your accomplishments and the areas you still need to improve. Make a list of the qualities you appreciate about yourself and a plan for how you’ll develop your self-love. Self-compassion is a key element of self-love. This entails being patient and understanding with yourself, particularly during challenging situations. It’s crucial to keep in mind that everyone experiences difficult periods, and it’s acceptable to not feel okay. Give yourself the same compassion and understanding that you would extend to a friend instead of being severe on yourself.
Plan a Solo Getaway
Just tossing this in there as a bonus. It could be a weekend getaway or a day trip, but take some time to plan a solo adventure. It can be an opportunity to explore a new place, and to focus on yourself.
For those who are single, it’s also important to practice self-love in the context of relationships. This means setting healthy boundaries, not settling for less than you deserve, and not allowing yourself to be treated poorly. It also means not comparing yourself to others and not feeling guilty for being single. Remember that being single is not a problem to be fixed, it’s simply a different stage of life.
In conclusion, self-love is an important practice for everyone, including those who are single. It’s about treating yourself with kindness, compassion, and understanding, and accepting yourself for who you are. By focusing on self-love, single people can improve their relationships with others and themselves and can live a more fulfilling life. So, this Valentine’s Day, take some time to practice self-love and care for yourself.
You deserve it.
This note was originally published in Modaculture magazine’s February 2023 issue. Get a copy here to read the full piece.
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