Well, in a reality that isn’t coloured or built on fantasy, most couples still find it extremely difficult to get to this point – Orgasm. A lot of anxiety comes from talking about this issue because both academic experts and seemingly ‘ordinary’ people in this field, are still trying to analyse the much ado about the big ‘o’.
Naturally, when we hear this, thoughts are awash with the steamiest scenes or ideas. Great thing if you actually get tickled at the thought. The big “O” clearly needs no introduction but yeah sure, it’s the prize of every lover’s dream to their partner. An orgasm can also be called the climax of any sexual activity. It’s the peak of pleasure or satisfaction. Strangely, it’s viewed as the most exciting part of the sex act.
The colour, especially the fantasy, weaved about it is the stuff dreams are made of.
Why an orgasm is essential to any form of sexual activity.
Considering there are different couple types – heterosexual, queer, unlabelled etc – it is still a very much debatable topic. In a lot of reading literature and movies, the concept that it is all too important during sex has sold the idea that if you don’t make your partner orgasm, then you’re a total no hooded at it.
In the not too distant past, a lot of societal culture frowned at it, they believed that women did not need so much pleasure as it was bound to make them unfaithful and wanton. For male partners, it was even unheard of. Now, society can’t indoctrinate or influence people’s choices about such issues, so it’s still a dark area to many. What most people do not consider is that many factors can inhibit this path to pleasure. Not to sound too academic, health issues can be a challenge to getting this satisfaction. Some common inhibitors include impotence, drug use, cycling, lifting heavy weights, excessive alcohol intake, smoking, stress, female genital mutilation etc. These are just a few.
On the other hand, being with someone with whom there is no emotional connection can also cause this. Typically, most men are expected to always have full and multiple climaxes but that is not always true. When one considers their lifestyle and that of their partner’s, it actually puts things in better perspective and appreciation of what is involved.
The most reliable and tested way to achieve an orgasm is to be with someone you connect with at least physically. Yes, the emotional connection works too. A lover who takes their time to understand their partner’s body, wants and desires may help them achieve this through careful foreplay, steamy talk, the use of toys, some movie for stimulation and oral sex too.
Orgasm mustn’t be achieved only through the traditional ways of having sex. Also, the less tension there is between partners, the easier it would be to orgasm and yeah, multiple orgasms may not be as real as they sound.
It takes lots of time and energy ( lol).
The best bet at it is to relax and take your eyes of ‘ the prize’ and ensure it’s mutually beneficial to you and your partner. People get misled by the talk that they need to get this ultimate goal and thus set unreal expectations so, it’s best you find what works for you and develop on it. There is so much hype and it really, it doesn’t get better because, the need for this kind of satisfaction, is a stereotype that has come to stay.
People have lost good and promising soul mates because they never cared to find out what works for their partner. Some termed their exes as cold fish, log of wood, a minute man and all manner of appendages( sad though). People tend to forget that relationships that look good, took time to be forged and built up. Sometimes, a critical look at life more closely may make you question these stereotyped ideas.
If a partner got a disease that rendered him impotent, had to be on long term medication for treatment, suffered a disability, got under heavy stress and became burnt out, would you turn tail and run? Some couples have had to make do without sex for whatever reason. Would such an instance abruptly end their relationship? Maybe, maybe not. What counts is the need for stability and reliability from one’s partner.
This article is not all against getting the orgasms, I mean it’s great if you can get a feel of it; it sure takes you to another plane, helps reduce tension, it’s great for burning calories and keeping one’s heart clearly running properly. We need to know that even in great lifestyles, all these are essential.
Sometimes, a smile, a hug, a reassuring touch, kisses and just being yourself can put your partner at ease and so, with that ease, it would be a sure step to get your partner’s body vibing to yours.
A great ambience also improves one’s sensuality to be heightened during sex. Good food, lots of rest, some calming music, dim lights and taking your time to explore your partner’s body is another great way around it. A clean body, fresh breath and clean hair can work those wonders as well.
Truly, if it wasn’t worth the hype there wouldn’t be much ado about the big “O”. The basic thing is to make the best out of your intimate moments. If you do experience the big “O”, yeah you’re definitely getting some good loving or you’re giving the best of yourself.
Remember it’s sex, so take your time and make art out of it.
